Shh! Keep your mouth closed.

I wa always taught to keep your mouth closed instead of opening it & proving yourself to be a bigger idiot than expected. I’ve started to practice what I preach from now on. I guess it’s because I feel as if I’ve matured over the past couple of months. Maybe thats what it was. Whatever it is, I like it. I’v changed from something bad to something good.

I am now christening the new Jameka [myy government.] as of September 28, 2009. I have to take a killer writing test that is apart of the GHSGT (Georgia High School Graduation Test) I have to take in March. It’s a integral part of that test; whether I graduate or not depends on this test & this test only. I’m in my zone. I have to admit. All work and no play, makes Meka a dull girl. So what? I need to focus; there’s plenty of time for play.

But today was an overall good day; you still have these old ass females wanting to act like children when both of them are already teenage mothers as is. You smile and ignore them because 9x out of 10, they’re not gonna make any moves to make something of themselves after high school. Despite the fact they have children, they still want to play around and fight. Its about time we stop all this nonsense and act like young adults.

We’re almost out of school and almost grown. Fighting is not gonna help anybody with anything. It’s just something people do to entertain themselves. But I don’t care about them talking smack, they can do that ALL day long. As long as they don’t touch me, we’re sooo good! Its sad that both of them are waaaay older than me but I have to act like the mature one out of the situation.

This dead-ass hometown of mine is not going to help me achieve my dreams and goals. So, I don’t plan on doing anything that can jeopardize my chances of getting out of here with my head still screwed on. It’s crunch time & the coach is trying to put me in the game. I’m ready for him so I’m not going to be sitting on the bench joking around with the players who aren’t going to get in the game. I’m already in the game; I just need to make this touchdown.

“You won’t see me cry..”

So, I’m listening to the pre-Chris Rihanna. I hate to admit that I use to actually like her. Now, not so much. It wasn’t so much as her little domestic incident with Chris. It’s just seemed to me she was own her person then. Now, she’s biting FeFe Dobson’s style. It’s sad to see how the mighty have fallen. She’s gone from the top of the world to the bottom of the barrel.

Anyway, I’m kind of confused of my existence here on earth. I can’t even really explain it. I only understand that I have to finish high school, get a college degree, and do something with my life. But what? I have an idea but I’m torn between two of my dreams: do I go with the dream I’ve been chasing for as long as I can remember or the dream of what my parents want? I see that nowadays, it’s not what you LOVE to do, it’s what will make the most money.

Why can’t I do what I love and make a decent amount of money to survive. I’m a junior in high school and I was more sure of myself when I was freshman than I am now. I’ve fell off the face the world, slowly. I’m not friends with the people I was friends with in 9th grade. That’s a good thing; but if you feel like you and your old friends are on two different level in life, you’re automatically “stuck-up”. Even though we both know, I know where I’m going & you’re still not sure.